EDIT August 26, 2008: Well, the time has come for me to close the donation fund I set up. all donations are going to be sent to the Sheila Witkin Foundation this week. Thanks so much, and we'll try this again next year :) Meanwhile, please continue to donate to the foundation directly with the link below!

Hey guys, I've put together a way to make PayPal donations that will be given to the Sheila Witkin Foundation at the 2nd Annual Memorial Concert on August 29th. Since the button is encrypted I could not link it on the forum itself. For now I am going to post the button here with a link to this page so people can access it. Obviously this is going to be a very short run, but as their goal is to raise $100,000 this year, any ammount will help! Whatever ammount is deposited into this fund will be donated at the concert as a single check, from the members of Depp Impact.

Many Johnny Depp fans have a keen interest in the musical side of such an artistically talented person. For the second year in a row Johnny's old band, The Kids will be reuniting to preform at the Annual Sheila Witkin Memorial Concert. With less than two weeks to go, many fans are unable to attend, yet would like to make a donation. While we do not know if Johnny will be playing again this year, we do know he supports the cause and the woman it is dedicated to. Sheila Witkin was the mother of one of Johnny's bandmates, Bruce Witkin. She had a strong role in setting up and coming bands on their way in Florida in the 70's and 80's. There is no doubt that Sheila Witkin was a big influence on the path that lead to our favorite actors success. Johnny has never hidden his passionate love of music and his appearance at last years concert showed just how strong his support is. For this reason I have set up a fund for those members of the on line community who wish to make a donation to this charity as a group from Depp Impact. With a lot of interest, even a small donation can make a huge difference. The last day to make a donation will be August 26, as the final ammount needs to travel to the hands of the board members who will be making the donation at the concert.


To make a direct donation to the Shelia Witkin Foundation, or to learn more about their cause visit the official site! http://www.sheilawitkin.org

You know how you can never be good enough for some people? Well in my case I feel like that is a lot of people. I try so damn hard at everything I do. There is passionate energy behind everything, and I always strive towards perfection, even though I am fully willing to admit that that is nearly impossible with most things. I still put in a serious effort. I think this backfires though. It means people expect so much of me that they are disappointed when I do fall short. Does anyone out there have any idea how frustrating that is? I am a smart cookie. I know damn well when I fuck up. I don't mind someone that is say... my boss... pointing something out. I will acknowledge it, but I don't need motivation to do better. I beat myself up enough. Lectures just piss me off. Especially when they are lectures from people that have fucked up the same thing far more often...and in fact regularly... to the point where others have stopped bothering to even try to encourage the individual to fix the problem.

I am obviously talking about work here, where most of the management team is great, and we work together. But there is a person or two that have a serious mightier than thou complex and need to look in the mirror. My track record should speak for itself. I generally don't screw up the same thing twice. I learn fast, and I learn from things. I find ways to make them work. And then there are days that just go to shit, and no one can understand why if they aren't there. Because I was the lowest on the food chain today, things that got missed  are automatically my fault in the eyes of others. Apparently I am supposed to make duplicates of myself at will so I can be in six places at once. Did I mention that this other manager locks himself in the office most days, and since someone needs to be on the floor...well... the biggest kicker of the day though was 30 minutes before the end of my shift. A kid walks in for an interview that one of tonights managers had set up. Said manager had just called to say she would be an hour late. I don't mind interviews, but I was no where near taking care of other things I had to do today. I poke my head into the office where sir-sits-a-lot had come in 30 minutes ago. I explained I still needed to do other things, and could he please do the interview. He blew it off (as he does most work) and I grabbed the kids resume and proceeded to do the interview. Thank god it was a good kid, and I hired him. However, this meant that nothing else I had to get done got done. Than sits-a-lot has the balls to try and chew me out for it. It took all my will power not to dive across the room and throttle him.

Ultimately I have no idea how others see me since as with most places in the world, the feedback that actually reaches my ears is usually negative. I can not even describe the level of frustration this causes. Anxiety. I don't give a shit. I am trying to be good enough for myself. And thats a pretty fucking high standard.


*end of rant*

Oh, on the brighter side of life, I've added Gillian Anderson to my personal list of awesome and attractive celebrities.
Kung Foo Panda is a good movie. Watch it.
I bought a brand new car. And it's purple!
I have beat Rock Band on expert. well....almost. There is one song that I've not beat. I can't get more than 80% through Green Grass and High Tides at that level. But I can play Enter Sandman. Take that world.

Self, don't watch X-Files episodes you've never seen before at 3am. Especially when you are alone in a quiet house. Even more especially when the episode involves creepy kids, ghosts and Romanian exorcisms. And especially especially when you know you see things out of the corner of your eye often enough, even when you aren't thinking about such things, that thinking about such things just make such moments turn from slight heart-beat skips to gasping, skin crawling, heart-palpitation causing jumps. Especially especially especially when you know that half of those moments aren't even caused by reflected light or shadows, but actually appear where there truly is nothing to write them off to. And most especially when the things you see don't register, until after you've reacted, as things that do no exist on this physical plain.

Tonights prescription: Read something funny. After laughing, attempt sleep. Repeat as necessary.

...or at least should be sleeping. Or after drinking, but I resisted last weekend. Since I have only been drunk three times in the past year, it is unlikely another of those opportunities shall be around for a while. Either way, I take no responsibility for my grammar or presentation in my current over-tired state.

Some strange (or extremely cool) things that have happened this week:

I got hired as a PA to work on a short film. HURRAH! Even better, there are some industry pros involved. A few big names are in key crew positions. I am excited to soak up as much from the experience as I can. I may also be working as lighting crew on another short, but that isn't confirmed yet.

I can thread up the projectors at work beautifully now. Soon I'll be learning to make up and break down prints, which will mean I'm signed off as a level 2 Projectionist. Skills!

I bought Sweeney Todd. As DVD's go, it's got some good extras. (Sorry, nothing will ever beat the extended Lord of the Rings DVD sets.)

I FINALLY got a chance to get my hands on a PS3 for long enough to rent Pirates 3 on Blue-Ray and watch the interactive tour of the Palmdale set which is just bloody cool, even if the programing of the feature sucks. (Maybe it works better on a real Blue-Ray player...with a remote instead of a game controller. LOL) Even better, do to some recent classes in film tech stuff, I actually understood everything being talked about when it came to lights and all the other crazy, massive, insane things required to make that set work.

I guess this post is no masterpiece, but I wanted to say some stuff, and I said it. I feel better for it. Now... sleep.

Lets just get this topic out of the way. The Academy Awards. In reality I am over it already because well, it was unfortunately not a surprise. Nothing good ever gets real recognition unless some serious ass kissing and blow job giving takes place, or so it seems. I take pride in the fact that my favorite nominees did not stoop to that level. First, the Special Affect award. WFT???!! The gave the award to the crappiest movie with the crappiest graphics. Transformers was mind blowing effects wise. Pirates was above and beyond anything ever. As anyone that takes a peek at the extras on the DVD can see, it is beyond amazing the things they did with that set.

I watched the Oscars with my movie watching buddy and we were both in shock and shaking our fists at the TV screen for that one. There were a few awards that went where I thought they should, there were a few categories I honestly didn't know enough about to make a judgment call. The costume award I was not happy with. I was pleased about the Set Design award for Sweeney Todd. The comes along Best Actress. Now, I am from Halifax, so obviously I was rooting for Ellen Page even though I knew she wouldn't win. I did see Juno, and while it was a hard movie for me personally to watch, it was well done, and she did a fantastic job. There is also the giggle factor of hearing my own accent on screen since it doesn't happen very often. However, she is young, she is Canadian, and most people didn't know who she was before this year, so based on that alone, I knew she would not win. My realistic cheering was for Cate Blanchett. I was a bit sad she didn't get the award the the great job she did in Elizabeth the Golden Age, and I had never heard of the film, or the woman that won before this past weekend. I was however really glad that Juno got the award for Best Original Screenplay. They then of course kept the most talked about category of the year until as close to the end as possible. Best Actor. My friend and I had a list of who we wanted to win, in order. Johnny (please please please! Totally deserved, and for it to be a Tim Burton film makes it even more better!), Viggo (We won't complain if this happens. Viggo is awesome.), Tommy (At least he can act.), George (NO! He plays himself in all his movies!), Daniel (Anyone but him! Anyone!). We also had a list of who we knew was going to win based on nothing except for who tends to win in past years. Daniel (Grrrr. Why the fuck is he so popular? He plays himself, and he is an ego driven, quote stealing, prick of a mediocre part-time actor.),  George (WHY?!), Johnny (Best character actor ever. Hey! He moved up on the likely hood scale this year! Yay!!), Viggo (woah, people are noticing him in stuff besides Lord of the Rings now!),  Tommy (blink blink. Don't think that man is ever destined for this award, good guy though.) Obviously we were mortified and cursed a lot, booed and screamed "Noooooo!!!!!" at the TV a few times, caused my brother to burst into laughter at our reaction and then proceeded to not pay attention to the last two awards whilst we bitched about the why the awards are rigged and the people that truly deserve it never win. So, there goes another year of film history, and once again I scratch my head in confusion as to how the public and the academy members can differ so drastically in opinion. Don't even get me start on the cruel joke that is the Lifetime Achievement Award.

Moving on, I bought the new CD by The Trews. Its their third, and though the sound is changing a bit, I still really enjoy these guys. They are also getting big, and international, and got to open for The Rolling Stones in Toronto. Official Website They are doing a massive tour in the US over the next month or so. I have seen them live five or six times, though these days its getting difficult to get tickets. Well worth it though.

Speaking of music... Rock Band. Holy crap, the fun. I still suck at drums, but I can panic my way through. I have proven once and for all that I am not a singer, and I am working on getting good enough at Hard mode on guitar that I can attempt Extreme. I am getting there. Medium mode seems too easy now.

I had to take a First Aid/CPR course for my job. It was actually just recertification for me since I had taken the course 4 years ago. It was just a two day course which I finished yesterday. It was nice for the refresher as I had forgotten some stuff, and I got 100% on the test part of it. In fact, I found it so easy that I was shocked at the number of people in the class that struggled a bit. On a different note, of a class of 12 people about nine of us smoked, which we all found hilarious at the first break on the first day. It seemed so rare in these nutty modern times. That was one thing I loved about St. Croix. You could smoke in the bars. Of course, you could also order your drink "to go" and walk to the next bar with it, but still...health nuts be damned. I like a world where I can be allowed to indulge in perfectly legal habits in public without being harassed.

I have also been taking some film classes. I took a basic lighting class, which was four hours of review for me since I knew most of it from theater, with the exception of lighting composition for film, which was that part that was new. This weekend I am taking the next part which is a 14 hour (two-day) intensive hands on workshop and I am really excited to be handling lights again. I also still have a Set Ettiquette class, which is great, because I want to know what I don't know about it. This evening I took a four hour class on Continuity and Script Supervising out of personal interest and wow. I bow down to these people. It's fascinating, a bit complicated, and very detailed. But I understood it, and I realized two things on the drive home.

1) I do not envy the job, and have a lot of respect for it, and
2) I know I would be able to do it, and do it well.

I also know that is a bold statement, but it's true. This of course leaves me a bit ponderous as I have the opportunity to work on a five minute film, but I need to make a few choices. Lighting interests me, and I was leaning towards it. It is also ultimately an artistic and creative job once you work you way up to Lighting Designer. Highly technical as well. I could also go in as a simple Production Assistant, which is not an easy job, but interesting as it starts you at a rather broad base. Continuity though is indeed fascinating, has it's own appeal and I am 100% sure I would be very very good at it. I can only apply for one of these. Lighting is the obvious one as I have the most experience, and I know for a fact that I like it. I am just feeling that this is a really important decision which could ultimately dictate which direction I go in the long run, and suddenly I am rather torn. Lighting makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside, while continuity strikes a chord in me that I don't think I have felt before, and I haven't figured out how to read it yet. I shall have to decide over the next few weeks. I wish I could apply for both and let fate decide, but that doesn't see to be an option. Being a PA has it's own appeal. I view these other two options as skipping that step, though I am perfectly willing to embrace it as well since it would mean more time to chose a more specific field.